Happy Nashvilleversary to Me!
It’s hard to believe I’ve lived here almost a full year. I took the picture below when visiting Nashville in April of 2017 on a spontaneous day trip. I remember loving this sign, loving the city and hoping with all my heart that I’d live here one day. And now I do!
Recently a friend recently asked me how long it took for me to feel like I had “arrived,” or finally found my place in this new season in life. My response was, “Oh, I’m not there yet. I’m a lot closer than I was when I started, but I definitely have more to go!”
I’ve written out 10 pieces of advice that have helped me navigate moving to a new city and starting a new season in life. Whether you’re starting a new chapter, beginning a job in a different city or looking to build deeper friendships, I hope you’ll relate to my journey and maybe learn a thing or two!
1. Show up alone.
This may sound terrifying to you, and it kind of is. Remember in high school when it was very uncool to go to the bathroom by yourself? You’ve got to do a complete 180 on this mindset! At first, showing up alone is hard. It’s awkward, it’s weird and it’s SO much easier to convince yourself to stay home and watch Netflix. But if you want to find your people and experience great things, you have to push yourself.
2. Do something brave.
Bouncing off of point #1, find something that you enjoy and DO IT. Well, I should really say try it because you don’t have to stick with it if it’s not a fit. I did theatre throughout high school, and I looooved it. I love to tell stories through acting, and as a kid, I always had a knack for performing. (Please don’t ask my mother for home videos.)
In April, I auditioned for Seussical the musical at a local community theatre. It wasn’t the audition that scared me, but the whole trying something new in a place where I had never been and knew no one. I had no idea what this experience would be like, but I tried it. And I LOVED it.
Can you spot me? I’m a Who!
3. When in doubt, Google it out.
Profound advice, am I right? I’ve found Google to be incredibly useful for questions like, “Can you really die from the hiccups? (Thank you, Grey’s Anatomy.) Can you blend without a blender?” and so forth.
Google is also a great source for finding community. Look up different churches around you, read about what they believe, if they have a young adult group, and try them out! Search for ways to get involved with a hobby you enjoy (how I found out about Seussical auditions) or places you can volunteer. Theses activities and communities are not going to show up at your doorstep, so do some digging and take the initiative yourself.
4. Accept that real relationships take time.
I really don’t have to explain this, because we all know it to be true. First, you have to find your friends (which takes time), then you have to get to know your friends (which takes time). When we’re eager for community, it’s easy to get impatient over the fact that knowing people on a deep level doesn’t happen overnight. Be patient! Friendships are coming, they just take time.
5. Have fun and explore!
Did I say I love Nashville? It’s a great city to explore! Last month I got last-minute, cheap tickets to see Third Day’s Farewell tour at the Ryman Auditorium on a Monday night, and I did it. Because why not? I went with my roommate/friend (a great combo) and two new friends from church. We had a blast.
(P.S. – Check out their new album, “Revival.” So good!)
Even if you aren’t in a “big city,” there are plenty of ways to explore where you live. Try out a new restaurant, visit an outdoor park or look for a place to enjoy live music. Open your eyes to what’s around you and be adventurous!
6. Know that your people will be your people.
College was an incredibly sweet time for me. So many of my close friends were just a quick walk across campus or late night Sonic run away, and now we’re spread throughout the country. The beautiful thing about post-college life is watching how true friendships transcend place and time. I may not see someone in-person for months, but when we talk on the phone for an hour or two to catch up, it’s like no time has passed.
People understand that life is busy, and it’s important to be present where you physically are, but that doesn’t take anything away from a good friendship. Plus, it makes real, in-person time spent together all the more sweet!
7. Realize you’re not the only one looking for community.
One time at church, I met a girl who said she had just graduated college and started a new job in Nashville. Instead of immediately blurting out “DO YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND?” I chatted with her, you know, like a normal person. After some small talk, the conversation turned to finding community. And what do you know, she was looking for friends too!
It’s a relief to know that you’re not the only person looking to make friends. It makes the entire process less intimidating!
8. Make time for a hobby you know you enjoy.
Adulting, plus living in a new city and trying to make friends, can be tiring and time consuming. Make sure you carve out time for a simple pleasure that you know you will enjoy––baking, reading, exercising, playing an instrument, you name it. A small activity can be infinitely refreshing!
Baking funfetti cupcakes is always a fun pastime!
9. Lean in.
Lean in to connections that you already have in place. If your mother’s cousin’s best friend lives in town and wants to invite you over for dinner, take her up on the offer! Or reconnect with a friend from high school who you haven’t seen in the last few years. Chances are, you have more built-in connections than you may realize. Don’t be afraid to reach out.
10. Remember that no one will love you like God.
We all crave community. We want to find people who understand us, care about us and love us for who we are. While it’s important to pursue relationships with people, we’ll always come back around to an important reality: no person can fill the God-shaped hole inside each one of us.
There are times of loneliness and insecurity, and I won’t sugarcoat it as glamorous. But I’ve found that those tough moments are often what bring me back to the Lord, reminding me that true hope and peace only come from Him.
Ellie Holcomb speaks of this in her song “You Love Me Best.” We can search high and low to find unconditional love, when God, the perfect Father, is waiting for us to run back into His arms. Above all, abide in Him!